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As I write this, it is not quite a year since a great event which has changed my life forever. Here, you will know the core reason why I created this site.

Life has a way of teaching us things we never knew we could learn or events that could happen to us. There is a quote which says that until a wound has been ripped open from the person’s chest, only then does the soul comes alive.

Sometimes, we can only gain through losing, no matter we want it or not….and this is a story of how one lost what life have meant to him…and how he found himself back craving a new future to create a new meaning for himself.

The Nightmare Begins

This is not a self-improvement blog, I personally would rate this as more of an anti-self-improvement blog. Scouring the libraries, internet and major bookstores, it seems that there has been more of a fair share of “feel good” books and blogs. Most would tell you what a beautiful world we are living in and everywhere, even under the pebble, is a piece of gold. Is Life really that easy and wonderful?

Some of them tell you all the nice stuff, hype the spirit up and then just when you wanted to decide to go towards your dreams, the reality sets in…now, why is it so hard? It might make one think, “I thought that when I was young, my teachers and grown-ups said life was going to be nice and fluffy…what happened?” No, it doesn’t work that way.

THE SEARCH FOR MEANING

To attempt to find meaning in your life is a scary route to take. In fact, to live without one is much easier, one just lives a normal life as expected by others. Saying yes and agreeing with people is a much easier thing to do then to say no and go your own way, that’s another skill although and seldom taught. It’s a skill best learnt by disappointment, especially when you are aware of what’s going on around you, sometimes you would rather not be aware of the ability to say no as a choice.

If you are not willing to fail in public, the seed of success is not in you. - UK Millionaire

Let’s not hide it, the world needs more stories of people who have experienced failure before success. Why? Because it stops people from achieving their dreams, because it makes people regret in their latter years why did they shy away from the things that they most wanted, because it’s part of the lessons in life that makes it filled with meaning. In this journey, once you started, you can’t stop. Stopping means being small all your life. You may step away and try again another time in the future, but another time is a privilege that seldom comes.

You see, we can do a reality check right now and ask ourselves, “What is the meaning of my Life?”. Many people will not have an answer and thus the need for the search for meaning if they want to lead a life that they know has meaning in it.

But be wary, because once you have started the search, you don’t and can’t give up. Else, it’s better that one don’t even try starting at all. It’s your choice.

And for those who have already ventured on this path, found it or are still staying on track, my deepest respect for you.

For those who have tried it and took a break, here’s a call to try it again.

FINDING MEANING BY TESTING THE WATERS OF THE REALITY OF LIFE

If  one wants to test the theory of his life, one of the best places to test it in where the true face of humanity is plainly apparent to most.

The World of Business tests a person’s character to its core, it is extremely hard to fake your values in this world. How you get things done, the person you are inside and how you react…it tells.

This arena has been chosen by many to test themselves in this world to discover what they are really made of, steel or cardboard. This breed of people call themselves entrepreneurs. Some of them are Artists of Life who seek meaning through their journeys. Why them?

Many of the best entrepreneurs in the world who started out with nothing, are a different breed equipped with courage, determination and never say die attitude. We don’t give up, we are too proud to give it all up…when success and glory is within reach…it always is…and most of the time, it isn’t really a choice. It was a must.

My name is Maynas Chua, in the past, I thought I liked to write and I was wrong. I just love to express my feelings, emotions and the things I’ve learnt and experienced in both words and pictures. I, too, have chosen the path of an entrepreneur to test myself on where I stand in this World.

Here’s a gift to the entrepreneurs who are struggling out there, the knowledge of the fear which many of us are all so familiar with and that it is true, we are struggling as well. And knowing that the struggle is real, it’s time to do it anyway.

AFRAID, BUT JUST HOW AFRAID?

Reality Call Number One :

You will always waste time with or without knowing that you are wasting time, especially when you are beginning and the system isn’t perfected yet.

Reality Call Number Two :

It’s actually better if you know that you are wasting time because you can then decide not to keep doing such things. It is the part when you have spent so much time on it and one fine day, you realized it’s not going to help anything at all. Now, that’s the part where many will just feel dejected and question their own foresight.

I would think that many of us can stomach the initial doubts that others cast on our own ability, few of us can tolerate the thought that there are people who look up to us because we are supposed to be “the one” who can make it. It is the rarest of people who can overcome the doubt they have on themselves.

Of the three, the one who others doubt only have to choose to ignore the doubter’s stares and words, the one who others look up to have to fear not living up to their expectations but the one who doubts himself, he cannot choose to ignore his own thoughts and fear of not living up to his own expectation…and until he overcomes his doubts with confidence, the foundation from which he builds he empire will most likely often be shaky.

A TRUE STORY

Eric, a guy from Singapore went aboard for his college studies and graduated from a prestigious University in Australia with a Second Upper Honors Engineering Degree, with an award of best team senior project in the school and an even better thesis research state award which was chosen as the best among five Universities.

He applied for a few jobs, but no matter how good his resume looked, most didn’t wanted him as his permanent residency was still in progress. After it was approved a few months later, the offers began to come in. He knew he did well for his interviews but perhaps too well in one case of his dream job as an renewable energy engineer because after three tough and gruesome interviews with the company’s top management, the human resource department told him that they couldn’t accept him because the guys at the top were afraid he might do too well and outgrow his position as a graduate engineer too quickly. Talk about talk poppy syndrome!

Eric had better luck with the next company, the manager who interviewed him was so impressed with his interview that he arranged for another special one especially for him where he writes about his thoughts on Australia’s and the global renewable energy outlook. A little while later, he was hired.

Life was great, he had a girlfriend who has been living together with him for three years and a good paying job as an engineer was certainly going according to his plan to get married a few years later. Meanwhile, Eric spent some of his spare time building up an online business too and make some good money in just a week. Money was coming in, it’s a stable life, great people in the office and even got a pay increase just after a short time in his work because of his performance, he couldn’t ask for more…but more came, and it wasn’t pleasant.

THINGS HAPPENED

He and his girlfriend went everywhere together, so naturally they went out together with some of his good male friends also. Eric went overseas for a week and asked one of his friends whom he thought was a good friend of his to send his girlfriend to the airport when she’s going overseas a week later. Things happened and you can guess the rest. It was a hard lesson that even trust is not something that can be trusted sometimes. Hell is not a nice place to live in but that’s where we all go for a holiday when our hearts are broken.

Eric’s thought of marriage and the sweet beautiful future came down tumbling, as if he was walking on the clouds in Heaven and suddenly dropping down through a hole in the sky straight into the Hellish pain where there was nothing but sorrow and anger. Meanwhile, some things happened back at his homeland too and he needed to go back for a while.

That was when he decided, he was to leave Australia for some time and back to his homeland, Singapore. It was too sad a place to live in when two of the people he spent the most time with betrayed him in one of the most horrible ways possible. It was never going to be a blow he will ever recover fully in his life, he just have to live with it.

Having lost his love, pride and confidence in a single sweep, he took a good look at his life and what the future holds. It was an emotionless stare, the happy family picture was shattered into a million pieces, what he smiled when he thought of, now only holds painful memories of the past where a couple smiled and enjoyed each other’s company. Now she is in the arms of someone else…someone he knew and thought was a friend…it was then he believed that Hell has different stages of painfulness. Even his two years in the military paled in comparison to this. If there was an extreme end of emotional pain, this must be quite close to it.

Physical pain to the body is merciful in that when the body will grow numb upon receiving a certain level of pain, but when it comes to emotional pain…it is basically limitless. Perhaps more people have died from emotional pain than from physical ones.

MEANING CHANGES

Without the dream of a happy family, brought possible by a stable job and a loving wife, what other choice did he have? Eric knew that although this was the most terrible thing that had happened to him so far in his life, he had to carry on living and not give up. He just have to decide on what he wanted to do now with his life…it was a simple decision actually, he decided to follow and fulfills his dreams and ambition, to live the way he wants to live life, the route less taken.

He decided to become an Entrepreneur, to test and find out his extent of what he was capable of accomplishing when puts everything on the line, including his future and a philosophy of life and core values which he meant to live by. Will it prevail or will a different side of himself he never knew come out and take over his self? He knew that the only way in his case that he could make the transition and full discovery was to risk it all. He quited his stable job and plunged into the chaotic world of the self-employed, it was a move like the ancient generals did on the battlefield, they crossed the sea and burnt their ships so that the only way was forward and the only choice was victory or total defeat. Do or die. It is not just about business, it is about the way one lives his life and the meaning behind the life itself. It will not be an easy journey.

Eric was afraid…very afraid…so afraid that he would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to vomit and no one near him can ever know how he feels nor does he allow it, any hint of fear would place the spotlight of doubt upon him by others. Sometimes he does doubt himself for after a few months in his ventures, he had failed many times and succeeding in a few, but only after mistakes and time wastage…and his constant reminder of his struggle was the feeling of sickness in his stomach. Only Heaven knows how many times he must have held his knees close to his chest with shivering lips and cold feet alone at night when no one is watching. But he knows success will soon come for he looked at what he had done in the past and currently doing, he knew it will not be long before success comes along.

This may seem like a silly and fictional story but take my word, it is closer to reality than you think it is. How a person would feel and fear…how darkness seems to come when the light shone the brightest. How a person can give up everything to pursue his dreams. All these are true, and how was I to know? You see, I am him. I am Eric, Eric Chua. Maynas is my alias.

Welcome in joining my search to “Create a Life that Matters“. To lead a meaningful life, one that is meaningful because we ourselves chose to live the way we want to live and that by living it, benefits the World and ourselves.

Now, what is the meaning of our lives?

Let’s continue the search together, shall we ?

Photo resources: graphia, ToastyKen, Hamed Saber, topgold

Thank you my Friends and Family,

This page is dedicated to you.

Without your spiritual support and encouragement, I would not have reached so far. I have understood that when even when the world plunges into its darkest moments, you are the light which shines the way back to home.

Thank you, I love you all.

Maynas Chua( Eric )