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It has almost been a year, yet it felt still so close.

Time is a precious thing that we take for granted often. What have I accomplished for the past 7 months? Much and little.

Has this been the most productive free months in my life? It’s among the top in my life for I have found out more about myself and what I can accomplish than any time of my life. I got a very good glimpse at what the future from now on looks like. It’s like being reborn and doing what I always wanted to do since I was young. It’s a great feeling…but it feels lonely…very lonely….

Sometimes I envy those who have people telling them what to do in their workplace, there’s less to decide… but deep inside I knew that was not something I really wanted very often now that most of the time I am managing my time and projects. I finally realized first hand that what many successful people have written about the time when they are starting up are really true…the start …is a horrible feeling of a sense of great uncertainty and a mental torture, yet very often we have to put on a strong front that everything is going all right when it really isn’t for that certain.

It’s about EGO which some refer as "Edging God Out". And what you put yourself in the center of everything, your life is run by fear of what ifs…and in the process of feeling the fear, one might try to do too many things at the same time.

There is a proverb that goes, "If you chase after two hares, you catch none."
If there’s one most important thing I learnt about myself…it’s that I am not superman after all. If someone can get something done in 3 hours, one shouldn’t assume that he needs to take only half an hour, that’s overconfidence. Once, I thought I could get the many projects done at the same time…well, if it’s at the insane speed that is worked on, yes it’s absolutely possible. But that’s one factor most of us forget to factor in, the factor call motivation. Sure, many of us can hype ourselves up when we need it, but once we hype ourselves up that often, something inside just goes haywire and numb. Like a virus in the body that has grown immune to an antibody, so has the system inside become quite immune to hype.

I’m sure some people will be able to accomplish much more than what I had in these months but I know that few would have really sorted out their lives…I think most people were like me before, we think we know everything about ourselves but not until we have tested and challenged ourselves that we found out that we weren’t really as we thought.

As John Lennon once said,"Life is what happens to you when you are planning on doing something else."
Yup, it’s now time to reap the rewards.